Once more unto the breech!
Back from holiday, and straight back into the annoyances and niggles of life with M-I-L.
First thing we noticed is that all of our stuff has been rearranged, whether it needed to be or not. As an example, we had left the wife's mobile phone somewhere safe so that we knew where it would be when we returned. How wrong we were! It had been moved along with everything else to "somewhere safe" so safe in fact that M-I-L had forgotten where it was! It took a fingertip search before we found it in a drawer full of my son's junk. Obviously!
Not content with hiding the phone, the contents of the kitchen cupboards had been rearranged, the cutlery had been changed from the conventional knives, forks, spoons etc in separate compartments in the drawer to a random system spanning two drawers.
Stuff in our bedroom had been moved around (although she denies having been in there going through our stuff, despite clear evidence to the contrary). However, the piece de resistance had to be the changes to my son's bedroom (a constant source of annoyance to M-I-L due to the fact that, as a teenage lad's room, it looks like he's on "dirty protest" and has stuff strewn around the place). As an aside, his room is on the top floor and requires climbing two flights of stairs to get to it. She reckons that she comes over all queasy just climbing into the car yet she manages to make it up two flights of stairs on a regular basis to see the state of his room so that she can winge about what a state it is and how we should make him tidy it. The fact that it annoys her is reason enough for me to tolerate the state of his room.
Anyway, the fact that this frail old lady who complains that she can't push the hoover round her own room without getting chest pains hadn't prevented here from managing to clean my son's room from top to bottom completely, including moving his double bed from one side of the room to the other and turning it around. God knows where she summoned the strength from. Not only had she rearranged it, she had refurnished it with what can only be described as "pensioner chic" accoutrements like rugs, lamps, doilies etc, and a pervading smell of cloying air freshener.
Admittedly, the room looked tidy for once, but she had merely moved the problem on by dumping everything she removed from the room on the floor of the neighbouring room for us to clear up on our return. Thanks!
The funniest thing arising from this whole episode was the discovery of a 2 litre lemonade bottle containing a strange yellow liquid. She was convinced that it was something suspect so she told her friend about it when she came around. Her friend determined to find out what it was by tasting said liquid (as you do) and declared that she couldn't identify it as it didn't really taste of much.
I could scarcely contain my mirth upon the discovery of what the bottle actually contained. My son had been in desperate need to relieve himself during the night, before we left on holiday, and being a lazy arsed get had pissed into an empty lemonade bottle that happened to be in his room. The bottle remained in his room when we went away. M-I-L's friend had actually drunk some of his, probably well matured, urine!
M-I-L was mortified when we told her what it was and said that we couldn't mention it to her friend. We heard her on the phone to her friend later telling her that it was actually lemonade and orange juice! Oh yeah, I'm sure she'll believe that!
First thing we noticed is that all of our stuff has been rearranged, whether it needed to be or not. As an example, we had left the wife's mobile phone somewhere safe so that we knew where it would be when we returned. How wrong we were! It had been moved along with everything else to "somewhere safe" so safe in fact that M-I-L had forgotten where it was! It took a fingertip search before we found it in a drawer full of my son's junk. Obviously!
Not content with hiding the phone, the contents of the kitchen cupboards had been rearranged, the cutlery had been changed from the conventional knives, forks, spoons etc in separate compartments in the drawer to a random system spanning two drawers.
Stuff in our bedroom had been moved around (although she denies having been in there going through our stuff, despite clear evidence to the contrary). However, the piece de resistance had to be the changes to my son's bedroom (a constant source of annoyance to M-I-L due to the fact that, as a teenage lad's room, it looks like he's on "dirty protest" and has stuff strewn around the place). As an aside, his room is on the top floor and requires climbing two flights of stairs to get to it. She reckons that she comes over all queasy just climbing into the car yet she manages to make it up two flights of stairs on a regular basis to see the state of his room so that she can winge about what a state it is and how we should make him tidy it. The fact that it annoys her is reason enough for me to tolerate the state of his room.
Anyway, the fact that this frail old lady who complains that she can't push the hoover round her own room without getting chest pains hadn't prevented here from managing to clean my son's room from top to bottom completely, including moving his double bed from one side of the room to the other and turning it around. God knows where she summoned the strength from. Not only had she rearranged it, she had refurnished it with what can only be described as "pensioner chic" accoutrements like rugs, lamps, doilies etc, and a pervading smell of cloying air freshener.
Admittedly, the room looked tidy for once, but she had merely moved the problem on by dumping everything she removed from the room on the floor of the neighbouring room for us to clear up on our return. Thanks!
The funniest thing arising from this whole episode was the discovery of a 2 litre lemonade bottle containing a strange yellow liquid. She was convinced that it was something suspect so she told her friend about it when she came around. Her friend determined to find out what it was by tasting said liquid (as you do) and declared that she couldn't identify it as it didn't really taste of much.
I could scarcely contain my mirth upon the discovery of what the bottle actually contained. My son had been in desperate need to relieve himself during the night, before we left on holiday, and being a lazy arsed get had pissed into an empty lemonade bottle that happened to be in his room. The bottle remained in his room when we went away. M-I-L's friend had actually drunk some of his, probably well matured, urine!
M-I-L was mortified when we told her what it was and said that we couldn't mention it to her friend. We heard her on the phone to her friend later telling her that it was actually lemonade and orange juice! Oh yeah, I'm sure she'll believe that!
posted by Unknown @ 1:43 pm
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