Making Lunch the M-I-L way

Ingredients:
One packet of Cup-a-Soup
One teabag
One teaspoon of sugar
Milk
Hot water

Equipment needed:
Kettle
Mug
Teaspoon

Method:
Place the spoonful of sugar in the mug.
Place the teabag in the mug.
Pour a little milk in the mug.
Boil kettle.
Wander off to bathroom whilst kettle boils.
Empty packet of Cup-a-Soup into mug.
When kettle boils, pour hot water into mug containing Cup-a-Soup.
Look around to try and find mug containing teabag.
Stir soup using teaspoon.
Find teabag submerged in soup.
Remove teabag from soup.
Look bemused.
Stir soup again.
Drink soup/milk/sugar/tea.

Handy tip for the future - use two mugs next time.

Cheese Toastie, anyone?

It is a constant source of amazement to me how M-I-L has managed to stay alive this long given her inability to observe, or even comprehend basic safety measures.

I went into the kitchen and found a Breville electric sandwich toaster soaking, fully submersed, in the kitchen sink (thankfully not still plugged in!)

When I asked what the bejasus it was doing in there, she replied that she was soaking it to get some burned-on cheese off it.

I suggested that basic common sense probably dictated that you didn't submerge electrical appliances in a bowl of water. She looked somewhat bemused and asked why not. I pointed out the obvious reasons and the fact that the instruction leaflets that come with all things electrical always include safety advice to that end.

Her reply, clearly indicating that she thought she'd outfoxed me was "Ahh, well I haven't read the instruction leaflet", to which my intentionally over-theatrical response was "Thank God for that, it'll be alright then as long as you haven't read them".

Maybe I can persuade her to plug it in and take it into the bath with her next time she's in there. But then again, I'm sure the safety instructions tell you not to do that as well and, as I now know, she hasn't read them.