Ho-Ho Bleedin' Ho

It has probably not escaped your attention that Christmas is coming soon, and thoughts turn toward the prospect of embellishing the house with a beautifully decorated tree, garlands, lights etc. M-I-L also gets these same tendencies, although her inate inclination towards "tat" goes into overdrive with the onset of the festive season.

She came home from shopping on Saturday and whisked through into the kitchen to proudly display her latest purchase. This turned out to be a battery operated doll, which purports to look like Santa, and sings "The Twelve Days of Christmas" when you push a button. (I should point out that I absolutely hate this kind on thing anyway - the sort of ornament which is to be seen in all peasant households across the land).

The Santa is of such low build quality that you can barely make out the words that emanate from the speaker but, when you do, you realise that it isn't even singing the traditional version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas". It is a very poor new version which involves the receipt of all manner of DIY items:

"Three orbital sanders'
Two hammer drills,
And a large black and decker workmate"

…or something like that - hard to make out really. M-I-L was hooting with laughter at it; I stood there, non-plussed.

Seriously, if you'd asked me to come up with the Christmas ornament from hell, I could scarcely have come close to this one. Why anyone would even think of making such a thing is beyond me, let alone why anyone would purchase it.

M-I-L even asked if we wanted her to get one for us! "It was only six pounds" she said.

SIX QUID! SIX BLEEDING QUID, for that!

Give me strength…
PS. If I get chance, I'll take a photo of it and post it on here so that you can all share in it's beauty!

Update: Try this for size!

Sorry about the quality but it was recorded on a crap phone camera in a hurry.